Timp Sports Weekly
October 1, 2013
Publisher's Message
This week's issue looks at the Lehi Pioneers, AKA the Froggies, posting wins against the Lone Peak Loners' volleyball team and the Spanish Fork Dons' football team during the Croakers' recent Homecoming Week. Let's hop straight to those stories.
Dean Von Memmott
Publisher
magnanovelist@gmail.com
Lehi Froggies Defeat Spanish Fork Dons 45-13 in Homecoming Game
By Dean Von Memmott
Timp Sports Weekly Publisher
In a non-league football game played during Lehi's Homecoming Week, the Spanish Fork Dons, AKA the Gaytowners, tried to prove that they were as masculine as their town's girls, known very widely for being quite manly. However, still sore over having lost at home to the Ferocious Pleasant Grove Vikings on a last-minute touchdown pass caught by Malik Overstreet, a Lehite who transferred to PG High, the Friday before, the Lehi Pioneers, AKA the Froggies, washed away the Gaytowners 45-13.
The game opened with Don Bennett Bradford returning the kickoff to the Spanish Fork 20-yard. Don quarterback Jason "Sho Me Dee" Money attempted to get his squad's offense into the Lehi side of the 50-yard line. However, Deryke Terrell's nailing Taylor Noles at the Don 31-yard line slowed Spanish Fork to a halt.
Long carries by Caden Calton guided the Froggies to the Don 16-yard line. Unable to move the pigskin beyond that yard line, Lehi had Hayden Hunt kick a field goal.
The score stayed at 3-0 until the early second quarter. Long passes from Money propelled Spanish Fork to the Lehi 1-yard. Noles scored a go-ahead touchdown for the Dons. They then picked up an extra point.
For a little while, the Dons looked as they would have a gay old time on Lehi's field. However, Spanish Fork found out quickly that the Froggies could be quite protective of their home marsh. After Froggie Spancer "Prince Ribbit" Blackham had returned a kickoff to the Don 42-yard line, Lehi presented a shocking drive spurred on by Calton's rushes and Chase Matua's catches of long passes. Midway through the period, Calton scored a touchdown on a four-yard carry. Though Hayden Hunt's attempted extra-point kick failed, the go-ahead TD still meant that the night was going to be something that the Dons would not feel gay about.
Don attempts to recover from Calton's first touchdown got stymied by Spanish Fork penalties of Whetzel's sacking Money for an eight-yard.
Lehi pulled far away from the Gaytowners in the half's final four minutes. Calton scored his second touchdown on a four-yard run, and quarterback Derek Beeston chipped in a two-point conversion during a keeper play. Despite a 30-yard carry by Money to the Don 48-yard line, Spanish Fork march collapsed on a fumble on the Lehi 41-yard line. The Froggies hopped quickly from there to the Don 36-yard zone. Taking a handoff from Beeston, Ryan Absher raced away for a touchdown.
For a while, he became the player that the Froggies picked to be their scorer. Absher made a 25-yard touchdown run in the third quarter. In the fourth quarter, Froggie fans croaked excitedly as they watched Absher flip flop quickly 65 yards into the Don end zone. Calton scored on a one-yard touchdown soon afterwards.
Late in the quarter, Money passed six yards to Bradford for a meaningless touchdown. While Don fans excited for a little while, they quickly realized it wasn't something for them to feel gay about.
Lehi Froggie Spikers Survive Tight Battle With Lone Peak Loners Sept. 24
By Dean Von Memmott
Timp Sports Weekly Publisher
The Region Four volleyball match between the Lehi Pioneers (AKA the Froggies) and the Lone Peak Knights (AKA the Loners) didn't draw a huge crowd like the ones that would show up between the Loners and Ferocious Pleasant Grove Vikings. Nevertheless, the Froggie-Loner match, played at Leh, went down as a riveting -- correction, ribbiting contest that lasted for five games. The match ended with the Froggies defeating the Loners 26-24, 25-21. 20-25, 15-25, 20-18.
Game 1 opened with Brecken Bearson and Jaysa "What Dee" Funk guiding the Loners out to a 4-0 lead. Once a Makayla Houghton kill punt the Froggies on the scoreboard, they battled back. For a while, though, Calyn Barry and Emily Lewis delivered kills that kept the Loners narrowly ahead. However, they couldn't keep Houghton, Faitoto'a Faleao, and Courtney Walker under control. Those three Froggies' spiking soon put the Froggies ahead 24-23. Loner mistakes enabled Lehi to win Game 1 256-24.
In the second game, switches occurred frequently as Houghton, Faleao, Walker, and Reesie Tua guided Lehi in keeping Lewis and Funk from smacking the Froggies silly. Cydney White's serving allowed the Froggies to leap out to a 20-9 lead. Just as Lehi seemed certain of making short work of the Loners, Lone Peak suddenly showed it still had a lot of fight left in it. Capitalizing on Lehi errors, Makaila Jarema and Rylee Rogers, a "distant cousin" of comic strip character Buck Rogers, guided the Loners back within 24-21. A Cydney Lund ace won the game for the Froggies 25-21.
The third game also went down as a seesaw battle. However, this time, the Loners eventually grabbed control of the momentum. Natalee Gray, Carly Goff, Barry, and Funk held their own against Tua and fellow Froggie Rylin Roberts at the net. Lehi managed to stroke within 22-19, but the Froggies couldn't swim any closer to the Loners. A Lewis kill scored the game point for the Loners.
In the fourth game, the Loners quickly drained Lehi of any chance for avoiding a fifth game. For a little while, Lund and White's serving enabled Lehi to stay narrowly ahead. However, after a Funk kill had tied the game at 12, the game went downhill for Lehi. Barry, Lewis, Jarmea, and Rogers had a heyday at the net by hammering Lehi into submission. By the time the Loners got done with punching the Froggies black and blue, Lone Peak had posted a 25-15 win.
The final game went on as long as each of the first four matches. Jarema and Houghton's hits kept the lead switching hands frequently. Tua, Faleao, Walker, and Roberts kept Barry, Lewis, and Funk from dominating the net all throughout that game. It ended with a Lone Peak violation giving Lehi a 20-18 win.
Lehi Froggie Spikers Survive Tight Battle With Lone Peak Loners Sept. 24
By Dean Von Memmott
Timp Sports Weekly Publisher
The Region Four volleyball match between the Lehi Pioneers (AKA the Froggies) and the Lone Peak Knights (AKA the Loners) didn't draw a huge crowd like the ones that would show up between the Loners and Ferocious Pleasant Grove Vikings. Nevertheless, the Froggie-Loner match, played at Leh, went down as a riveting -- correction, ribbiting contest that lasted for five games. The match ended with the Froggies defeating the Loners 26-24, 25-21. 20-25, 15-25, 20-18.
Game 1 opened with Brecken Bearson and Jaysa "What Dee" Funk guiding the Loners out to a 4-0 lead. Once a Makayla Houghton kill punt the Froggies on the scoreboard, they battled back. For a while, though, Calyn Barry and Emily Lewis delivered kills that kept the Loners narrowly ahead. However, they couldn't keep Houghton, Faitoto'a Faleao, and Courtney Walker under control. Those three Froggies' spiking soon put the Froggies ahead 24-23. Loner mistakes enabled Lehi to win Game 1 256-24.
In the second game, switches occurred frequently as Houghton, Faleao, Walker, and Reesie Tua guided Lehi in keeping Lewis and Funk from smacking the Froggies silly. Cydney White's serving allowed the Froggies to leap out to a 20-9 lead. Just as Lehi seemed certain of making short work of the Loners, Lone Peak suddenly showed it still had a lot of fight left in it. Capitalizing on Lehi errors, Makaila Jarema and Rylee Rogers, a "distant cousin" of comic strip character Buck Rogers, guided the Loners back within 24-21. A Cydney Lund ace won the game for the Froggies 25-21.
The third game also went down as a seesaw battle. However, this time, the Loners eventually grabbed control of the momentum. Natalee Gray, Carly Goff, Barry, and Funk held their own against Tua and fellow Froggie Rylin Roberts at the net. Lehi managed to stroke within 22-19, but the Froggies couldn't swim any closer to the Loners. A Lewis kill scored the game point for the Loners.
In the fourth game, the Loners quickly drained Lehi of any chance for avoiding a fifth game. For a little while, Lund and White's serving enabled Lehi to stay narrowly ahead. However, after a Funk kill had tied the game at 12, the game went downhill for Lehi. Barry, Lewis, Jarmea, and Rogers had a heyday at the net by hammering Lehi into submission. By the time the Loners got done with punching the Froggies black and blue, Lone Peak had posted a 25-15 win.
The final game went on as long as each of the first four matches. Jarema and Houghton's hits kept the lead switching hands frequently. Tua, Faleao, Walker, and Roberts kept Barry, Lewis, and Funk from dominating the net all throughout that game. It ended with a Lone Peak violation giving Lehi a 20-18 win.